Guilt
by thousand-miles
Summary: Post ep for Heart Break. Kate’s mad at Gibbs and Gibbs feels guilty.


Title: Guilt

Author: thousandmiles

Disclaimer: All belong to DPB, CBS and everyone else involved and nothing is mine.

Rating: G

Summary: Post ep for Heart Break. Kate's mad at Gibbs and Gibbs feels guilty.G/K

A/N: For those of you who read my fic Bringing her Back. It's taken longer than expected because it's the last chapter and it needs to be good. My muse decided I needed to write this. A little post-ep for Heart Break because I simply couldn't live with Gibbs attitude towards Kate. It needed to be resolved. This hasn't been beta-ed so any mistakes are mine. Please let me know what you think, just don't be too harsh. Also, English isn't my native language…

Enjoy!

**Guilt**

Standing alone in the morgue she looked at the body. The innocent man, who's life she'd taken. She couldn't believe it. Shooting someone always left her with a strange feeling, but this time there was guilt. Guilt because she killed an innocent man. Logically she knew she had to take the shot, who knew what he would have done. He could have shot Gibbs. Gibbs, she couldn't believe his attitude. Dismissing her guilt like she was being childish, like nothing had happened. The man could be so infuriating.

She heard the glass doors open and she quickly rolled the body back in it's place, closing the door. Slowly she turned around, pleased to see Ducky looking at her. She needed a friendly face, someone who would understand her.

"I'm sorry Caitlin." The ME said.

"I'm sorry too, Ducky." Implying his misfortune with the doctor.

"I guess we both don't feel so well. I think we need something else to keep our minds occupied. Would you like to accompany me to the opera?" He offered the female agent. He saw how the shooting was affecting her. He felt sorry for her. Caitlin was like a daughter to him, he didn't want to see her in pain. He'd heard from Jethro's reaction from Tony. Unbelievable. Sometimes the leader of the team still astounded him with his bluntness. Did he simply not see what this was doing to Kate, or did he choose to ignore it?

Almost saying no, she contemplated his offer. She didn't want to sit at home, going over the shooting in her head, over and over again. She didn't need that. Maybe it was good idea to get away. "I'd like that Ducky."

Pleased with her answer he smiled at her. "Good, I'll pick you up at nine."

"Thanks." She said, walking past him to the door.

Coming back from the opera, Kate felt slightly better. Sure the shooting was still on her mind, but the opera had given her something else to think about. Walking over to her door she saw a man waiting at her door. Judging from the grey hair and straight back, she guessed it was Gibbs. She was so not in the mood to see him, let alone talk to him.

Hearing someone approaching him, he turned around. For a moment he was speechless. She looked different. Her hair was up, letting him see her beautiful long neck. Guessing from her appearance she'd gone out. Walking past him she finally spoke. "Go away." She opened the door, shutting it behind her before he could enter.

"Open up, Kate." He said, knocking on her door. "I'm gonna keep knocking so you'd better let me in, otherwise you'll get complaints from the neighbours."

Apparently that worked, because the door opened. Stepping into her apartment he found her standing in the living room with her back to him. His mouth went dry by the sight of her. She was wearing a black, knee length dress with spaghetti straps, leaving her back exposed. For a moment he forget why he was standing in her apartment.

That thought came back to him when she finally turned around and he saw her angry eyes. He didn't know his comment had hurt her that much. He hadn't meant it like that, surely she knew. "Kate,…"

"Stop. I don't want to hear it."

Stepping closer he hesitated what to say next.

"Get away from me." She didn't even try to hide the anger in her voice anymore.

He took another step forward. Hoping she would talk to him. Seeing her hand held up between them and the anger in her eyes, he stopped. She didn't want to talk to him.

"Just go." She whispered before leaving him alone in her living room.

Closing the door to her bedroom, Kate sat down, waiting for the front door to close. After the affirmative sound, she lay back on her bed. She couldn't believe he had the nerve to stand at her door. Did he think a simple sorry was enough? Changing into comfortable sweats and a shirt, Kate opened her bedroom door to go to the kitchen to get something to drink.

"I'm sorry." Gibbs said to her back.

Kate turned around, shocked by the sudden sound behind her. "Dammit, Gibbs. Don't scare me like that!" She exclaimed.

He had the decency to look guilty. "I know I should have handled things different."

"You're damn right." Kate said as she made herself some coffee.

"I ignored your feelings and I shouldn't have. Being an agent for as long as I have, has made me oblivious for some things. I sometimes forget that some people might react differently than I do. I should have had more respect for your feelings. I truly am sorry." He'd stepped into the kitchen, watching her poor herself a cup of coffee. He was surprised when she offered him one too.

Though she was still angry with him, she was glad he was here. Taking her coffee she walked back into her living room and sat down on her couch. Seconds later, Gibbs sat down next to her. "I don't think I've ever shot someone who was innocent."

"You couldn't have known, Kate."

She continued as if she hadn't heard him. "I've shot people before, but this is different. It feels different. It hurts more. I ended someone's life. Someone who had a whole life ahead of him. I killed him, I ended his life." The last bit came out as a whisper. Tears formed in her eyes as she saw the shooting again.

Gibbs shifted a bit closer. "You did what you had to do. You didn't know if he was going to try to shoot me. You did what you were trained for."

"I wasn't trained to kill an innocent person."

"That's true, but you can't let this control you. You've got to get passed this."

"I know that, but not just now. It's too fresh. I need to apologize to them." She simply could not live with the guilt. She needed a clean conscience and with that came the apology. It was the least she could do for the family who'd had to deal with a great loss. They deserved that much.

"I don't think…" He stopped talking as he saw Kate's raised hand.

"Don't say it. I need to do this, otherwise I can't leave it behind."

He nodded, understanding her need. He didn't know if it was a good thing, but he understood her. Then he surprised even himself by saying: "I'll go with you. "

Her eyes were wide as she looked at him. He suggested to go with her. That was quite the surprise. She dreaded the thought of going to the funeral alone, but she'd never expected Gibbs to go with her. She couldn't deny though that it would be good to have him with her, that she needed him there. "Thank you. " She softly said.

Looking at her tired eyes he decided it was best to go home. She needed her rest. He quickly drank the last of his coffee and stood up, placing the cup on the coffee table. "I'd better go. You need your rest. " At the front door he turned around and watched her. She was still on the couch, her head turned towards him. The sadness was still there in her eyes. "I'm really sorry, Kate. I'll see you tomorrow. Try to get some sleep. " He gave her one last look before stepping out, closing the door behind him.

The End


End file.
